Let's face it, some sneakers should have never made it out of production and into the stores. Adidas takes home the cake for creating the ugliest sneakers of 2009! See why right here.
1. Jeremy Scott For Adidas 1
Jeremy Scott's designs for Adidas tend to be much overrated and beyond goofy. Stylistically, credit is due for his latest "winged" innovation. However, not everybody wants to look like an extra from the latest Hollywood gladiator movie. Despite continually dippy designs, the Adidas and Scott collaborations have been ongoing. One can only hope Mr. Scott slips on a pair of his winged creations and they spring to life - flying him far away to a place where Adidas will no longer be able to confer with him on designing more sneakers!
2. Nike Hyperdunk Philippines
Yowzahzzzz! These Nikes have a tinge of Superman meets Donald Duck. Instead of Hyperdunks they should be called Hyper DUCKS, because only Clark Kent, Emilio Estevez and those kids in that Mighty Ducks movie would wear these things. Well, okay, I could maybe see Ronald McDonald or Daffy Duck rocking a pair of these too. So if you are a cartoon character or mostly out of work actor - get 'em.
3. Louis Vuitton Graffiti Sneakers
Image courtesy of www.sneakers.rap.pl
I had to think about these ones for a bit. They fit the whole 80s retro vibe, but they are over the top electric. Too electric that anybody could get zapped just by looking at them. If the colorway was reworked and tweaked a bit - and the soles were changed - these could work. Otherwise, I'd just keep them handy in the cupboard - for those times when the power went out. Flashlights for your feet!
4. Nike Dunk Hi ND Cassette Playa
Has anybody seen that movie 'Young Einstein', where Yahoo Serious plays this scientist who saves the world with beer? These babies should be in that weirdo's shoe closet because he's the only type of person I can see wearing these ballistic things.
5. UXA x DC Shoes
Image courtesy of www.hostilekicks.com
DC Shoes has once again teamed up with skate brand UXA - this time creating the Ryan Smith 2.0S “Big Apple.” The “Big Apple” features a red/green/black colorway on an all-suede upper. The sneakers also feature an apple emblem stitched on the side back heel - adjacent to the UXA logo on the back heel. There are two things I don't like about these. First, the colors are a bit crass for my personal liking. Second, they look like Vans Halfcab knock-offs. I'm hoping they offer these in tiny sizes made for Christmas elves. They might even be a good product tie-in for the theatrical "Grinch who stole Christmas" musical version now touring.
6. Jeremy Scott For Adidas 2
Image courtesy of www.shoejocky.com
Yikes! I had to drop two designs from the series on the list. Again, these rank up there in gawdiness. A bumblebee-like colorway meets faux snakeskin upper? Oh, lets put a tinge of purple and some tan in there too! Okay, what else? Oh! How about a neon green lace tag? Enough said.
7. Asics Runovation
Anybody wearing these Asics running sneakers will surely be going longer and faster - but not due to them actually improving your performance. Slide into these eyesores and watch the sneaker bullies, gangs and even your own family members chase you down the street! You'll defend yourself as they try to beat you senseless for spending money on such a ridiculous looking pair of sneakers!
8. Reebok Strappy Slim Mid
You would think that by the name of these shoes, you'd expect something lighter and "feminine". Instead, we get a mound of leather and plastic with countless straps that look like little caterpillar legs to keep us on lockdown. Not only do these look corny - but they're guaranteed to take all the air out of you.
